In just a few hours, Netflix will unleash all 13 episodes of Fuller House, the long-talked-about sequel series the 80’s/90’s T.G.I.F. staple Full House. Without having watched a second of the new show, I’m here to tell you something: It’s going to be terrible.
“But Full House is such a big part of my childhood!” you say. Therein lies the problem. We’ve long equated nostalgia with quality, and the two are very much not the same. During its original run, Full House wasn’t exactly lighting-up critics’ (or audiences’) best-of lists. We collectively knew it was bad, but gave it a pass because it was likable and harmless. But in concept, Fuller House hits the nostalgia sweet spot for potential new Netflix subscribers, even though most of those likable characters won’t be there beyond the first episode.
I’ve gotten into heated debates on more than one occasion about my negative thoughts about the movie The Breakfast Club. In terms of plot, writing, acting, and directing (aka the things we take into account when judging a movie’s merits), I think The Breakfast Club is downright awful. That’s not to say I don’t think it’s enjoyable. I also fully recognize its importance in the overall landscape of teen movies. It’s just not a good film.
Every 80’s teen archetype coincidentally ends up together in very same Saturday detention? OK, maybe I can move past that with simple suspension of disbelief. The principal literally LOCKS the students in a library? Hello, child abuse! The troubled teens don’t rebel with any form of destruction to all of the books? You’re losin’ me. The students break out but then break back in? REALLY?!?! There’s an out-of-nowhere dance number?
Tell me again exactly WHAT gauge you’re using to describe this movie as “good?” You’re using nostalgia! And even Uncle Joey would tell you to “Cut it out!”