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My near-epic failure of a Superman costume was saved

Tonight I’m dressing as Superman Prime, which is essentially the regular Superman uniform but black and silver rather than blue and red.  I special ordered it from Hong Kong to get the size right because I’m elfin.  The costume fit, but something was just… off.  Oh yeah, that Superman S looks nothing like an S!  That would seem important!  THANKFULLY, one of my best friends happens to be a kick-ass big-deal costume designer, and he was able to fix it by cutting new pieces from the bottom of my cape.  MORAL OF THE STORY: find yourself a friend who’s a costume designer. 

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Happy Halloween from Kermit the Frog and Vincent Price

The most frightening thing about this is my realization of just how much a laugh track was employed on The Muppet Show.

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Babies in Pumpkins is apparently a thing

I seriously had no idea that babies in pumpkins was a thing.  If I had a baby, I don’t know that my mind would ever go to the place of, “Honey, you know what I’d like to do?  I’d like to gut a gourd and stick our baby in it for an adorable photo op.”  And trust me, I rarely turn down an adorable photo op.  

Babies in Pumpkins IS a thing though.  The above pic is from Instagram, and a simple Google search for “babies in pumpkins” will turn up countless pix.  Everyone wins… except the babies who have to swim around in orange goo and pumpkin seeds. 

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Paris Hilton out-Mileys Miley Cyrus for Halloween

And she didn’t even have to stick out her tongue.

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Crest toothpaste shows us how horrible Halloween would be with vegetables instead of candy

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate vegetables and I don’t eat ‘em.  Seriously.  I’m a fully grown adult, but when it comes to food I’m a 5-year-old.  So the fact that Crest has replaced Halloween treats with so-called “healthy” tasting food and the fact that the kids (naturally) hated them is especially funny to me (even if it’s all done in order to schill toothpaste). 

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Best. Halloween. Pumpkin. Ever.

My friend from @Weho_problems posted this on Twitter from his work’s pumpkin decorating contest, and the person that made this officially wins Halloween and the internet today.  Even Miley Cyrus couldn’t have done this “Wrecking Ball” themed masterpiece better.

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Here’s how to text through the gloves in your Halloween costume

Over the weekend I bought a Halloween costume that happens to have gloves.  What didn’t dawn on my at the time was that I wouldn’t be able to text while in costume.  Yes, First World problems, but it’s still a legitimate concern as I’ll be spending the night with a group of friends, and we text back and forth to make fun of the crazy people we see keep track of one another.  

Thankfully, my problem is solved with a little metallic thread and the video above.  Just call me Mr. Wizard.  Actually, just call the guy in the video Mr. Wizard.  I prefer to be called Mr. Bojangles.

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